"I'm your late night head rush/ Ace high royal flush/ Red velvet orange crush/ You just don't like pussy much."

"So, we've got this American teen movie in need of some soundtracking. But it can't be pop because the lead characters are, like, so rebellious and all anti-consumerism! And it can't be proper rock either, because our audience are a Teen Vogue-styled guide to alternative fashion, rather than those actual counter-culture kids. I mean, what's with all that baggy denim? Don't they know it's like, so unflattering? Eew!

We need perky, grrr lyrics! About shapeshifters, brown shoes and brand new shirts, and centrefold spreads! An empowered pint-sized drawling vocalist! And a full band swooping their chords through the choruses like they snort Ritalin between takes!

Think friendship forever against mindless corporate label suits, moody Sylvia Plath-reading teens finding true love, the class of 2002 as sponsored by Urban Outfitters. Can't you see the ex-WB starring cast? The ubiquitous token stylish ethnic girl Gabrielle Union? The oh-so clever metanarrative commentary on branding and the boybands du jour (sic)?

Kay Hanley, we need you!"

That's right folks: the woman behind the band of the film of the cartoon. Otherwise known as that wee cute blonde who sang on the rooftop in '10 Things I Hate About You'. And the woman providing the voice for Josie and her Pussycats (Aha! The Tara Reid Quality Control Mark of Superior Pop Status TM strikes again!). The queen of infectiously danceable, ultimately bounceable, completely joyful girl-power pop.

And this is her crowning glory: a red liquorice and fairy sprinkles offering to the world. It's irresistible nonsense, blindingly brief and completely bursting with attitude and air guitar riffs. I want to be sixteen again. :flashback: Or rather, I want to be sixteen in the world this lady inhabits.