Departing from songs that are actually great, it’s time for a little advice to aspiring stars.
Dear Abby,
I’m just a simple guy looking to break into that lucrative singer-songwriter market. What can I do?
Yours hopefully,
Jesse McCartney.
Well Jesse, I’m glad you came to me, because this is tricky terrain. If you’re not careful you’ll end up a Ben Jelen, tossing those surferboy curls wistfully in the lower echelons of the chart for all eternity. Equally as tempting, (but entirely without merit), is the path of those earnestly aching fellows, all heartbreak and pared-down chord bitterness. Just ask yourself, is the critical acclaim and proud artistic integrity of being Damian Rice really worth sacrificing a mediocre moment in the spotlight for? Exactly!
Baby-faced charm and downwards-spiking blonde hair are your key elements, plus of course, that guitar. Obviously there’s the piano option, but that’s hardly portable, and you want to be able to strum away musingly on every sunlit kerbside and vintage car backseat you find (as late afternoon fades on you and your gang of wholesomely rebellious Urban Outfitter cookie cutter friends, in that alternate universe where there’s not a six-pack or joint in sight).
And now to the song itself, merely an afterthought if we’re to be honest. Remember, you’ve a shimmering legacy to do justice, one that stretches all the way from the middling acoustic rock of Dave Matthews to the middling acoustic rock of John Mayer. Down with originality! Down with innovation! It may be hard at first to stifle your creative energies to such an extent, but be brave my little poppet! Banality is your friend, mediocre the aspiration!
So sing on about beautiful souls, as if it’s the class fat kid you’re serenading instead of the cheerleader who realized that alternative was in and so went and got some vintage denim. Strum along inanely, and then oh! Break out into that jagged bridge with a tiny ounce of actual interest, until whoops, so brief, get back to the mindless repetition my dear.
You are young, you shall learn the ways of the world, here
Dear Abby,
I’m just a simple guy looking to break into that lucrative singer-songwriter market. What can I do?
Yours hopefully,
Jesse McCartney.
Well Jesse, I’m glad you came to me, because this is tricky terrain. If you’re not careful you’ll end up a Ben Jelen, tossing those surferboy curls wistfully in the lower echelons of the chart for all eternity. Equally as tempting, (but entirely without merit), is the path of those earnestly aching fellows, all heartbreak and pared-down chord bitterness. Just ask yourself, is the critical acclaim and proud artistic integrity of being Damian Rice really worth sacrificing a mediocre moment in the spotlight for? Exactly!
Baby-faced charm and downwards-spiking blonde hair are your key elements, plus of course, that guitar. Obviously there’s the piano option, but that’s hardly portable, and you want to be able to strum away musingly on every sunlit kerbside and vintage car backseat you find (as late afternoon fades on you and your gang of wholesomely rebellious Urban Outfitter cookie cutter friends, in that alternate universe where there’s not a six-pack or joint in sight).
And now to the song itself, merely an afterthought if we’re to be honest. Remember, you’ve a shimmering legacy to do justice, one that stretches all the way from the middling acoustic rock of Dave Matthews to the middling acoustic rock of John Mayer. Down with originality! Down with innovation! It may be hard at first to stifle your creative energies to such an extent, but be brave my little poppet! Banality is your friend, mediocre the aspiration!
So sing on about beautiful souls, as if it’s the class fat kid you’re serenading instead of the cheerleader who realized that alternative was in and so went and got some vintage denim. Strum along inanely, and then oh! Break out into that jagged bridge with a tiny ounce of actual interest, until whoops, so brief, get back to the mindless repetition my dear.
You are young, you shall learn the ways of the world, here
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We love you Jesse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! write back to shaynashayshay@yahoo.com/
Dear Jesse,
I bet you won't have time to read my message
but Oh well at least I have tried right?
Well anyways your my role modle! Even though I am a girl. I love music just like you! I play the guitar,
violin,piano,trumpet and soon the saxaphone! I love to sing too! I wonder if I will ever meet you. Probably not but it's worth dreaming about. Oh and I'm not a CRAZY fan! But if I was you should be scared! Because I have my blackbelt in tae kwon do!! I have busted up some boys pretty bad! Just kidding! I would never hurt a musion as talented as you! you know what you should take Tae kwondo! It is lots of fun!!But you have the power to make a thousand girls faint with a small smile so you are pretty well armed!!! got to go it's my turn to do the dishes!
see ya!
Kay
yo! I love you Jesse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi jesse !
It's me again! Kay!
If you have a tour or concert coming up soon
the only thing I can do is say...GOOD LUCK!!!!
Oh and MERY CHRISTMAS!
e-mail back at Kayla.Bjorlie@sendit.nodak.edu
xxxheya;)xxx
xxx why dont you come to scotland? xxx
xxx we could do with some good singers lol xxx
xxx i would love to see you in concert two xxx
xxx i cant even see you in a magazine xxx
xxx so i have to get my dad to buy me them when he goes to america xxx
xxx and thats not very often :(xxx
xxx but on a good note xxx
xxx i love you and you voice :D xxx
xxx samantha xxx
Hey im your biggest fan i think your drop dead gorgeous and really really sexy and a very talented singer and actor i love you very much....
i just watched you in summerland you were really good and i think you are an amazing surfer
I love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much xxxxx
Rebecca
Hey Jesse!!!!!!!This is Shelby.I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year!I am at home right now.I'm sick.I am really crazy about you but if I met you in person, I wouldn't scream at all.I would be so happy though.Some guys at my school think that you are gay.Of course, I don't believe it.You know what I allways say?You are just jealus of him because I like him and not you.And:I bet you would like it if tons of girls are chasing you around all the time.Well, I'll write again later.Bye. I love you!!!!!!!
Hey Jesse!!!!! This is Destiny,I hope you had a good Christmas and a happy New Year! I got my Valentimes card and sign By You Thank You very much. Well I to go now so biy.I love you!!!
WELL E-Mail ME at desims1@verzion.net
Hey, this is Autumn. I just wanted to tell you that i love u and ur music! I also cant wait to see ur new movie.I'm so excited for u!
Love u lots!
Autumn
HI JESSE WILL U EVER COME TO SCOTLAND I HOPE U DO I LOVE U SO MUCH LOTS OF LOVE MICHELLE
I LOVE U WILL U EVER COME TO SCOTLAND
Hey Jesse i like your song your realy hot!!! Hope to met you in real life!!! You the coolest guy in the world!!!
hello!!!
I love you jesse (k)(l)