I wonder at these newfangled video directors, I really do. I mean, did somebody actually sit down in front of Rob Thomas and say, with all sincerity, “Hey man, for your debut solo effort, I know exactly whose aesthetic you need to steal: Ricky Martin!” Indeed. You really don't want people squinting at the screen for half the room-shaking video to determine whether it's actually the MOR rocker and not everybody’s favorite ex-Menudo member. Actually, now that I think about it: Skintight jeans, diamante studded cowboy shirt… anyone would think we were in a Big & Rich video, except hey: that would imply exciting, innovative music, and god knows Rob hasn’t encountered that since 1998!

So one of Beyonce’s best singles has been released. ‘1 Thing’ is all insistent samples, hypnotic gyrations and blinging jazz undercurrents. Stilettos, statement jewelry and gold chain vest. There’s even the trademark, ‘white lycra-clad ass facing the camera while I turn back and pout’ posing. Oh yes, it’s by Amerie, the answer to that ‘what would happen if someone synthesized Alicia Keyes and Ashanti in the r’n’b songstress generator?’ question that’s been burning on your mind for, ooh, hours now.

And great work, BMG, hmmm? I know you thought you were getting the perfect post-Busted boyband-but-oh-we’re-REAL ruffle-haired rock gods in Rooster, but really? Their repertoire is the kind of thing a faded rocker would be ashamed of: pushing out the kind of dirgesome guitar-laden angst fests that even Matchbox 20 – sorry, twenty – would turn down as dull. Now they’ve resorted to tarting up the videos to try and capture some edgy Razorlight aesthetic*. With it all on mute, you’d think it was some psychedelic explosion, not a ballard with the line ‘It can’t be wrong/ Cuz you’re so right for me’.

*The fact that in the British music industry, Razorlight is considered an act worth aping, needs to be appreciated here.