Let the Launch-fest commence!

Backstreet Boys – Incomplete

Leaves blowing in the desert despite there no foliage-baring trees! Burning bicycles even though they contain no combustible fuel! Yes indeed, the boys are back in town, defying the laws of nature and science with their heartbreak and collective loneliness. And heartbroken they are, with arms outstretched to the heavens and traumatized knee drops and everything! Oh well, the discordant string section and slow self-importance manage to elevate this above, say, Westlife status, but it still lingers many anguished looks behind the uber-ballad that is Hero.

Howie Day – Collide

I tried to resist, honestly I did! I mean, this is the man who looks like the genetic mutation of Jaime Cullum and Ryan Cabrera. He croons away about dawn breaking and being tangled up in me, shamelessly stealing his ‘do-do-do-dodo’s from Paula Cole and loitering with devious intent beneath highway intersections. But I’ve already established my predilection for these identikit crooners, so despite all my best efforts (step away from the DMB), his cough syrup overdose vocals and sweet little chord progressions were too much for me. I gave in, and oh I feel dirty now.

Gavin DeGraw - Chariot

So much wrong, on so many levels, that it’s worth watching as a mere cautionary tale to give you perspective (the way you need to know that the toy cows are small, while the ones in the field are just *very far away*). First up – STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUCKER HAT, the image of which is now burned into my memory in the same dark recesses that house the vision of the Ciara white sweater. I shudder. Then of course, the music, a Maroon 5-esque nu-jazz affair. Because both were so great alone. And oh, the lyrics. Chariot = sun, he wants to spread his arms and fly! What have we done to deserve this?