I’ve been here before.

Haven’t we all? A new year comes around and we take a moment, hoping that this will be the year we actually get a handle on things. Some energy or control or movement beyond this. I’ve certainly been here before; trying to articulate my eternal devotion to this song, and – as usual – I shall probably fail. But that’s OK. Because this time it’s not about the melody or bridge; the sunshine on my skin despite snowfall and chilled lips. This is the time of year to bring out my manifesto again. So here it is.

I will be brave. I will be adventurous. I will make sure I am prepared enough to be spontaneous. I won’t let the eventual zero-sum nature of everything deter me from the experience. I will remember that I’ll be OK in the end. I will try to remember that people usually tell you the truth, you just choose not to listen.

Rosie knows how it works; the need for momentum, the literal drive forwards over well-worn terrain until we reach the new – the green light in the distance, some kind of steadier footing. We don’t need the concrete plans – the bullet-point, time-spaced itineries which fail to understand just how random this world is. We just need to remember what we can plan to achieve in our own little corner, and what is utterly beyond our control. Which is most of it, to be honest. There’s something in the pictures she paints with these words that make me dream of Sabrina Ward Harrison prints, overflowing with vivid colour but taken with a fragile, pained eye. A restless pace, a feeling I long for, and which finally, this year, I might just find.

This year, the world will open up to me, I pledge each time. This time I’ll be ready for it; training wheels off, pen at the ready. Maybe this year, it’ll be true.

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